Thursday, April 20, 2006

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I'm testing that theory out with my blogging it seems :) I'm in the crunch right now. Breaking things off with the ex once and for all. Writing my thesis by May 22nd. Worrying about a friend whose grandfather died recently. Today's horoscope:

You care about the people around you. It matters to you if they're feeling good, bad or in between. You're in no way indifferent if they're worried about life, death, love or finances. You're a good person to talk to, and a good person to rely on. The question is are you getting enough support yourself? If not, are you maybe forgetting to ask for help? If you aren't used to making your needs known, it can be pretty unfamiliar territory. Venture out into it -- your friends care about you too.

I'm exhaused - the worry about money and finding a job and writing my thesis have kept me anxious and unable to sleep well. The emotional events of the past few weeks haven't helped much either. Life with the family has been irritating - the Teenager is the one I normally drive to and from school. However, she has spring break this week and the mom told me any driving I do with the Teenager I wouldn't be doing (obviously). Which was great, because I'm on call for jury duty this week (though very unlikely to serve).

Monday: phone call asking if I have time this week to drive. I return the call and remind the mom about jury duty and explain that since the Teenager is on spring break I'm trying to get alot done in lab so I can focus on writing the thesis. My call is returned and the mom wants to compare schedules.

Weds: phone call asking if I can watch the Boy that night. It was my friend's birthday and I'd made plans for dinner with her at 6:30.
How about until then?
No, I was learning how to culture cells that afternoon and didn't know when I'd be done.
But isn't Weds your normal day to pick the Teenager up from school?
Yes, but since she's on spring break I'm trying to get alot of work done.
Well, we know you have jury duty this week and we know you wanted to write, but it's not likely you'll get called for jury duty, you know you have to call in every night and find out.
Yes, I do know that and I've been doing that, but if I'm not called I'm supposed to go in to work.
Oh, well, let's compare schedules tonight.

Fine. I'm so sick of having to justify what I do to them. True, sometimes when they call last minute and ask for help I can't because I'm hanging out with friends. But this time it was for work. And I'd been told I wouldn't be needed. I'm trying to graduate. And I'm trying not to burn out from working at school and at home and for them with no down time. I hate coming home a night because I get pounced on with "can you drive tomorrow morning/this weekend/for the rest of your life?" They even asked if I'd be around over the summer.

Hell no.

In knitting news, I have a pair of socks started and have obsessively been thinking about how to knit toe-up with a heel flap. Sure beats reading about microspheres and drug delivery! I know it'll end and that everything will work out. I'm just so tired today that it's hard not to complain.

In domestic news, for Bush's approval rating - Limbo! How low can it go?


Miss Twiss said...

Keep your chin up. That way you see what's in front of you.

K8 said...

And it keeps me from walking into parking meters!

Kami - keep quiet.

Thanks :)